Everything has changed...

Or so, it must feel, for many. Our Earth has suddenly become filled with a highly traumatized population. The panic in the world is just immense. Yet, if you look at history, so much is the same as it has once been. And, on more than one occasion. Many lives have already been lost. And unfortunately, many more will likely be. People will concede that technological advancements and modern transportation ability to world travel as the predominant cause for a virus like this spreading at such an exponential rate. Many in the weeks to come will have too much time on their hands, prone to allowing themselves the delusions and consequential diatribes of delving into myriad, compounding conspiracy theories surrounding the virus, and all that implies of our… upper management. Whatever the case, if you were to compare this ongoing health crisis to past events, you might also be well-justified to perceive such serious cause for concern.

I went to WalMart last night. And I made a mental note of how were many wearing masks and gloves (myself included), their eyes darting back and forth in concern while filling their shopping carts. I wasn’t sure why I left the comfort of my creative space to go at all. I brought along my camera, even though I wasn’t sure what I would see. I left WalMart with a package of overpriced paper towels and four 4L bottles of (rather fortunately) underpriced, distilled water at only $0.97 a bottle, along with two bags of M&M’s, one yellow for peanuts, and one blue for hazelnuts, along with a 3L box of wine. Yes, it’s been one of those weeks. For us all, no doubt.

The store was set to close early, at 8 p.m. — As I waited for my taxi, a couple with a small daughter quickly walked up to the entrance, only to have an attendant block their path, noting the updated hours of business — They turned to leave, looking dejected, their daughter starting to cry when she realized they would not be going inside after all. I asked them what they had come for, and they said they weren’t even really sure; probably just a few extra bottles of antibacterial hand wash, and a treat for their child.

I paused, then told them to also wait for a moment. I reached into my camera bag (which has now doubled as a sort of virus emergency respite) and pulled out a large, unopened package of ‘wet wipes’ from a side pocket. I offered it to the couple, who accepted the gift, then held out the two M&M bags in front of the little girl, and asked, “Yellow or Blue?” Her tears stopped and her eyes lit up. She chose the hazelnuts. Her mother smiled down at her daughter, and it was actually her father who looked like he was going to cry, in his baby’s place. The parents wholly thanked me, we wished each other safety and good health, then they headed back to their car.

At some point amidst an epidemic, we really have to decide to reach for whatever positives we can. This was one of those moments, even if it was early-on. There may likely still be plenty of time to wallow in sorrows, later.

For every person I saw with masks and gloves and their suspicions, I also noted countless more this week on social networks, writing, vlogging, group conferencing about everything that is happening, offering insight on how to stay creative and entertained while ‘distancing’ — What I really find to be so interesting is that, already, and despite it all, people are coming together, even when they must remain apart. Perhaps, as a result, also, of technology. But they are spontaneously forming community groups, and helping the vulnerable, like providing fresh market food deliveries, or picking up medicines and supplies for seniors, for all intents and purposes trapped in their apartments.

Our infrastructure remains intact, we have electricity. We have running water. We definitely have our toilet paper. Perhaps, what we might at times be lacking, even without nCOvid19… is friendship; consideration for others and, so importantly, hope; a feeling that others care. I think it shows how far we have fallen, that this would be any surprise, that people still find ways to have concern for one another. WOW! Human kindness!

As terrifying as this virus is, it’s also… a kind of entertaining, to imagine all this as sort of a love letter from nature. As if the whole thing has been orchestrated to arrest us; to bring us into suspension; a place where all those things that we previous thought were impossible: like stopping air travel, closing all borders, schools, retail indefinitely, all commonly perceived forms of public gathering, staying inside, reflecting for awhile… suddenly seem feasible.

It’s not that I would want to seem in any way dismissive if people are out there suffering, scared about losing their jobs, providing for their families, about their future, their very lives. Because… I know, they certainly are. But I think that, as a whole, in a sense, it is kind of ‘revelatory’ fear for us, as opposed to a newly ignited one.

While perhaps I can only speak for myself, I have to think many people are already living their lives fearfully, at least in an unconscious way, and the things that are happening to us now are just really things that we had submerged inside, and are now becoming present. And we are, only now, finally, really beginning to understand… concepts like vulnerability, frailty, obligation to a greater degree, and on behalf of a greater whole, or that we’re operating within systems that are somewhat… unreal. So much of our time, work, labor, is undertaken to service the ideas of, well, whomever takes your taxes, the state, government, etc. — ideas that don’t necessarily, liberally benefit ‘us’ as human beings, in a clear and economic way.

But that’s just me, and how I perceive it. And a thing I do know is, in that moment, to see the expression on the face of that little girl as it changed from one of sadness, to happiness—representing loss to hope—despite how small a thing it seemed, its relationship to the larger world picture in my mind at this time, means it is unlikely to soon fade from my memory.

Story and photos by Jonathan Matthie.